Inside Out

I DID EEEEEEEET!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, despite my qualms and complaints of Skyping with my relatives, and all the nervous breakdowns and heart failures over that stupid camera, I DID IT. I went on Skype. I talked to my cousin, with the camera. Okay, it might be weird to be making such a big deal, but it is to me. We're taking baby steps, though. So it was just me and her, and then my annoying little sisters decided to join us, which was so irritating 'cause they kept fighting and I wanted to yell at them but we had visitors in the house so I had to put up with them which kinda put a dampen on my spirits, but whatever, because I DID IT.

Yes.

That's it. That's my big achievement of the moment. Gosh, the sacrifices I make for my cuz ^^ 

Anywayy.... I've been meaning to talk about this for a while, because it's always fascinated me, but the occasion never really called. However, recently it seems to be cropping up in my life, and I think it started withhh..... this article. Ironically... it's promoting a conservative dress code, with half-naked people on the cover of an advertisement for perhaps a more recent issue of the magazine. The point is: they're trying.

I'm Muslim, so obviously the conservative thing has been drilled into me. It was never really explained, just: 'this is the way you're supposed to dress. Do it.' Either way, it was done.It's clearly not just a 'Muslim thing' to be dressed down, and in fact, a lot of Muslims don't do even do it, but this isn't about Muslims, it's about girls. In general.

Still, I'm going to start with the Muslim girl part of it. It irritates me that wearing an abayah, hijab, niqab or even a burqa is such a big deal to people. I don't get how... okay, here's a quote that describes it:

I could walk out of my house wearing what is equivalent to undergarments and nobody would raise an eyebrow. Yet I wear long sleeves, long pants and I cover the hair on my head and I’m constantly questioned.

(Source: imagine-above-thesky)

I can understand the burqa & niqab thing in the case of, you know, identification for official purposes, and driving! The very idea of wearing those and driving frightens me! But in general, if people are allowed to take it all off, why can't they keep it all on? What's wrong with wanting to follow your religion? What's wrong with simply wanting to appear modest? What's wrong with wanting to be judged by what's in your head, not on your head; what you are really like, and not what you look like? 

And it's not even about us Muslims with our apparently weird dress codes! No seriously. We had a multicultural day at school, and Abby, my beloved Abby, came in the traditional Mauritian gear of a long colourful skirt, a tank top and flowers in her hair. It was sweet. I told her she really did look beautiful, and she said she didn't think so. She said that throughout the whole day, people had been saying how weird she looked because she was wearing a long skirt. I mean, really, people?

Now I'm getting into this rant... haha...I've always felt strongly, and if you don't feel like listening - 'cause I guess I can just drag on forever, I don't mind if you skip. I just want to say it now.

Everyone knows we live in a material based society now - if you don't, you've been living under a rock. Stay there. It's safe.

Anyway, it's all about looking glamorous, being... ugh, sexy, having the perfect figure, and so help me: if you've got it, flaunt it. I think people are beginning to get that it objectifies women in particular, but they're not really thinking too deeply into it.

I'm not going to be a hypocrite now and judge skimpily dressed girls while I tell everyone not to judge modestly dressed one. Truth is, we're born into it, and most girls who dress in short-shorts and whatnot don't always do it for... inappropriate intentions. They're doing it 'cause they're used to it, it's natural to them, la di da. It's fair, even if it's not right (in my eyes), and I'm not going to say they're all bad people or anything. They're not. They're just... a little ignorant. That's strong, I guess... it's more... oblivious? ^^

But for the girls who dress minimally to impress guys: it's not going to work. All guys are different, and no doubt you'll attract some. But are they really the right type? We had a talk in class today, and one thing came up about Sr N's sons. One had gone to the doctor to get his eyes checked, and afterwards, he said to his mother: "UGH, that was so disgusting." And Sr N's like: "What was?" And he said: "Well, did you see what she was wearing? The length of her skirt?"

He's a bit extreme, in fact, that's what Sr N was saying, 'cause she was worried about how extreme he was. But the other side to it is she discovered this is how the boys think at school. They look at the girls that try to show off as much as possible and they think... well, I'm not going to say what they think. Basically, it's an inappropriate word rhyming with mutt.

They go to a Muslim school, so you can outrule that I guess. Case point number two: Sr N was raised in a strict Catholic family, and her father used to make her dress... like a nun, I guess :P She hated it, she felt like a freak at school. So once, when her parents went away, she decided to go her own way and try something more... flashy. She got an instant reaction at school from the boys: they really took notice of her. But... she felt really humiliated telling us this now.... she couldn't figure out why they were dropping their pencils! (Dude, if you don't get it, don't ask me to explain = '_' = )

And she was basically saying: "I thought they were taking an interest in me, as a person, but that wasn't it. It was about... what I had on display. Not me. Does that make sense?"

So yeah, you can say 'Well, clearly showing off does get attention', but is it really the kind you want?

Anyway, if you look at that article up there, you'll see you can still be considered beautiful and dress modestly. I mean, okay, those celebrities mentioned are not really my idea of modest, but it's a difference to... the others that were mentioned. On the other side of the scale. And here's a quote from Emma Watson (YAY!) that I really like:

"I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing. If I do an interview with photographs people desperately want to change me - dye my hair blonder, pluck my eyebrows, give me a fringe. Then there’s the choice of clothes. I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini-skirt. But that’s not me. I feel uncomfortable. I’d never go out in a mini-skirt. It’s nothing to do with protecting the Hermione image. I wouldn’t do that. Personally, I don’t actually think it’s even that sexy. What’s sexy about saying, ‘I’m here with my boobs out and a short skirt, have a look at everything I’ve got?’ My idea of sexy is that less is more. The less you reveal the more people can wonder."

So that's that - especially on the topic of boys. PLEASE, please don't stoop so low to do it for a guy. Just don't. And back to the flip side: don't judge a girl because she covers a little more. Don't make assumptions that she's oppressed, or depressed, or some other nonsense. There will be those that are, but I find it hard to believe they're a majority. I'd like to say if you dress conservatively you're less likely to be judged, but it's not true, because clearly us humans are so clever at making judgements in whatever situation, but... just strive to be judged by your mind and not by your figure.

Side note: I put a video up some time ago on my 'Better View' page, the 'Killing Us Softly' one (LoL, sounds awful), but I think it's really worth watching. Really. REALLY. Do watch, please.

ATM:

Reading: Emma. Jane Austen. Well, I just finished it. To be honest, I couldn't get into the start, especially after Froi, I wanted to read about death and destruction and action-y stuff. But still, it's Austen, I can't help liking it towards the end.

Writing: Chipped. Progress, folks, progress :D It's going places. I'm up to chapter... 9, I think.

Listening to: Nothing. It's like almost 11pm, so I can't be bothered.

Feeling: Triumphant! DUDES, I OVERRODE MY FEAR OF SKYPE.

(Hehehe ^^ )

Peace in, 

Laila