potentially anywhere-but-here

I'm nostalgic about things I've never experienced. Is that even possible?

I miss times I didn't exist in, and places I've never been to.

I know that it sounds like I just want to be anywhere but here, but it's not a want. Really. It feels like I've been there and then, and I want to go back. I mean it.

For example, France. I've never really harboured any desire to go there - I guess it's just so mainstream. Despite studying the language throughout high school, it was never really a passion. You guys, if you've been here a while, know how I feel about that class. But listening to Zaz has made me long to be there. Not just France in the here and now, but France... France in that time. Right after the end of WWII. Which I think was only building on the feeling Rose Under Fire left me with.

But more than France, South Africa calls me. You know one of my favourite books. Well, I read it again. And I want to go there again. Apartheid Africa. That's sort of sick, isn't it? But I long to be there, again, just to experience it, support the people who need it. I'd go to Africa now, of course, but I miss another time.

I also want to specifically go back to their childhood - Sarah and Emily's childhood. I miss childhoods. I miss mine, but also, the kind of childhood you see in old movies, you know, My Girl and Now and Then. The kinds that seem to be stuck in a perpetual summer, where the neighbourhood kids roam the vicinity, explore the woods or some kind of wild that always seems to be in the background. It's a small world, but a big one too. They grow up dramatically, but in a kind of innocent way. Not a phone or computer in sight. Even To Kill A Mockingbird has that feel.

I miss it. I don't just want it - I want to go back. It sounds the same, but it's not. But it is. But it isn't,

And I miss a certain kind of weather too. A summer tropical storm. There were just a few words in The Lovely Bones about it. Just one fleeting part, and I think I've experienced it, it's really vivid in my head. And I want it again.

Does this make sense?

Maybe it is a kind of 'anywhere-but-here' syndrome. But life doesn't feel so bad at the moment. I'm floating on top of it. Sometimes, I guess, I feel like I'm  not quite here. But not in a bad way. Just... I don't know. Do you sort of maybe get it?

Peace in,
Laila

Some final notes and things

I've been in school for three days now. I'm not dead yet, in fact, I'm feeling quite alive. Usually I freak out a little the night before school starts, but this time it just felt like we were picking up from the short mid-semester holidays. 

Star says we're just 'testing the waters', and it's bound to get worse, and I'm inclined to believe her. But... but I also think there's a chance that it won't be as bad as I think. I'm only doing four subjects (French, English, History, Legal) and they're all subjects I'm relatively good at, and I like. I have so many free periods as well... and it just feels.... 'spacious'. 

I could be wrong.

Anyway, the last week of the holidays was somewhat eventful. Things happened. I caught up with Mia, who's a Really Important Friend of mine, and perhaps I'll blog about her one day, but for now I'll just say it was pleasant. I'm glad she's the same, or more 'grown into' the personality she already had, as Star said. I visited a second-hand bookstore for the first time with them both, and was surprised at it's awesomeness. I bougth Quintana of Charyn :D

Also, something Extremely Significant happened last Saturday, and I'll definitely be blogging about that in the near future, I'm just waiting for some final thigns to settle down. It's a very Tragic story with a hint of a happy ending, and you absolutely must hear it. I apologise for the 'stay tuned, we'll be back after the break' attitude, but alas, if I really did write it up now, you'd hate me for the word count x)

Okay, I'm sorry, I cannot keep this in right now... if you plan on watching Dexter, or if you are watching it and haven't reached the fourth season, skip the next paragraph, okay?

RITA DIED!!! WHAT?! HOW COULD THEY KILL HER? WHY? SHE'S RITA. WHAT HAPPENS TO CODY AND ASTOR NOW? AND HARRISON? AND... WHYYYYYYY?!?!!? DEXTER LOVES HER. YOU CAN'T KILL RITA. SHE'S THE ONE THAT KEEPS HIM SANE. NO. NO. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Yes. So I have been watching Dexter, and I really love it, but I can't bring myself to recommend because it has some Bad Things in it. I know a lot of you probably have seen worse, but still. There are intimate scenes and awful language... it's just the storyline is so compelling. And it's so my type. I can't stop watching it. I was supposed to finish up with the fourth season and 'focus' on school, but with an ending like that..... Dx

That being said, I'd like to recommend a movie or two that I watched these holidays. First up... The Little Rascals.

I have to put a warning on this one: adorableness overload. The movie is older than me, and you may or may not have seen it, but if you haven't, good heavens, watch it. It's so cute, and sweet, and fun, and... lovely. Yeah ^_^

Going with the 'old is gold' theme, I also watched... My Girl... which is even older than The Little Rascals.

I randomly decided to watch it because I saw this gif:

....And it always amuses me when little kids talk with such sophistication. So I had no expectations, I just watched it one night, and, I don't want to spoil it, but I bawled at the end. See? *sniff* I'm becoming emotional. I actually cried. Tears-running-down-my-face cried. That never happens with me and fiction.

One thing that I found interesting was the fact it was a 'coming of age' story. I mean, I think of 'coming of age' stories now, and it usually involves something in a bedroom, or alcohol, or drugs, or something really extreme and coarse. But My Girl just had the most innocent way of growing up... it's sad how times have changed. 

Reallllly loved it. Straight away a favourite. Do watch (:

I watched the second one too, which was nice, and I liked it, but not as good as the first.

I think I'll leave it at that for movies. Books, I read a lot, but you can go to my Goodreads which is somewhere and I can't be bothered linking you.

And I don't have a life :( Yesterday, I spent a good who-knows-how-long talking to my sleeping cat, telling him how much I loved him. He was sleeping. Then I listened to his heartbeat, because I'm creepy like that. It's like, I expected school to bury me alive, but it's not, so I'm stuck in this limbo, awaiting that stress and busy-ness and it's not happening.

Argh.

Anyway, I'm trying not make this angsty because the angst and stress and whinging will probably come as I fall back into the motions of school, so I leave you with Great News. 

KIKO GOT MARRIED!!!

D'AW.

My baby is growing up

:')

Don't they make a smashing couple?

Peace in,
Laila