What is happening, you ask? Or maybe Arvie's laughing evilly on the side, you know, NANANANA, THE STRESS AND BUSYNESS CAUGHT UP.
Wrong.
All is quiet on the Laila-front. Well, no, things have happened. Some dramatic stuff. Now, I'm trying to be a little positive. Some of the 'dramatic stuff', they hit me hard, but at the same time, as quick as they came, they left, if that makes sense. I may have bawled and whatnot, but I also got over it quickly. And I started thinking, well, no matter how tough it was, is there any point immortalising it on the internet? I mean, I know this mentality won't last, but I'll ride the wave as long as it does.
And the stress. This is going to sound so messed up, but I'm stressed a little bit because I'm not stressed. When the year kicked off, I had this study timetable in mind. So, school is from 8:30am to 3pm. Whatever time I get home, I don't work until five. Then from 5pm to 7pm, I study in half-n-hour intervals, with ten minute breaks inbetween - my version of the Pomodoro Technique. From 7pm to 8pm, there would be prayers, tea, and my daily walk/bike ride -
- OMG, BIKE RIDE. Did I tell you guys I got a bike? I mean, it's not a new. It's someone's old bike. But as old as it is, it's in good condition, so I think it's made of love. I love it, for sure. I mean, it's still a bit hard convincing my mother that the chances of someone attacking me when I'm riding le bike are very limited, but we're making progress. I love my bike ♥
Echhem. Okay, so a little after 8pm, I'd have more prayers, and then study until around 9pm, or for as long as I can. I have difficulty studying at night, or under artificial light in general, so I try to finish everything off in the daylight.
But, as of late, this has not been an issue. The issue is I have nothing to do. Star has been threatening multiple punches, she hit me with my pencil case, but it's true. I finish most of my work at school, and when I get home, there's so little to do, and even if there is... it's just... like... it doesn't involve thinking. It's basically mindless regurgitation, and I hate it. I hate it so so so so much. I want to use my brain. I want to explore ideas. I want to discuss them. I want to debate. I want to convince someone. But my subjects just don't require it, besides English, beautiful English, but even then, my classmates just don't like thinking. I miss my Literature class. I miss Star and Jane being in my class, and us gushing over what our Lit teacher spoke about for the day. I'm happy I have my Lit teacher for English, I am, but it just saddens me that I don't have anyone to appreciate him with *sniff*
And then, when I don't use my brain for school work, I end up thinking and thinking in my head, in all these big circles, and because I can't... 'expel' them anywhere, I get so frustrated. I feel like I lack a purpose now. I need a new hobby. Something big and complicated. I need a life. I need SOMETHING or SOMEONE so that I won't implode.
You know how they say you don't kill time, time kills you? I get it. Time is eating me alive. I want to get more into religion, but for me to really concentrate on reciting Qu'ran, I need someone explaining the tafseer. If not, I can recite in a mindless drone and nothing goes into my head. Unfortunately, classes aren't catered for my intervals of nothingness. I watched a few Islam related TED talks though (thanks Ghadeer for introducing me earlier on, to the world of TED ^^ )... this one and this one are two that I really liked...
Anyhow, skipping some drama, we had our school athletics carnival yesterday. I allowed myself to be swallowed by the #YouOnlyDoHighSchoolOnce disease, to an extent. Being the artsy vice-captain, I had to help host a costume parade (the two annual big sports carnivals at our school involve dressups), and it was mostly successful. I mean, besides me and the Commander, at least the other captain was there and did his bit, even if the other vice didn't show -_-' Um, I ran a race, the 100m sprint. I came third. Considering I was in jeans (not a good idea, folks), and I only lost to two tall and athletic girls, I'm pretty happy. That was the only thing I ever participated in with regards to athletics in my high school life. I used to do it in primary school, but that was because I was familiar with everyone. High school is scary, even now, when I'm 'at the top of the food chain'.
And how much are we into viral videos? You guys know the Harlem Shake? It's pretty stupid, my only interest was watching the 'Kids React' video related to it... but then, with the #YouOnlyDoHighSchoolOnce theme, my year level decided to make one. And... although it's still stupid, I'm amused because I know the people in it. So I'm breaking a boundary here, showing you guys the video... opening doors to stalkers who can now uncover my identity and expose me to the world...
... but I don't think I'm that desirable. I'm not in the video, just so you know. I don't dance, I don't like being in too close contact with people (they had difficulty fitting everyone in the frame), I'm still a camera phobic, and I'm in the 'short range' with regards to height i.e. even if I was in it, you wouldn't have seen me. All the short people kind of disappeared x)
So enjoy, I hope you're all having happy days, and you have a purpose. Purposes are good.
(The 'Russian grandmas' at the start won the costume pageant... they had a whole act that was just so funny :P But my personal favourites were Jasmine and the Cookie Monster...)
Laila
