I'm on a rollercoaster that only goes up, my friend.

I had wanted to do this post yesterday, but my laptop was having a bad day, and we got back late anyway...

But, ladies and gentlemen, yesterday was the speech night for the Youth of the Year thing!

I was dying from the moment we got in the van. My stomach was disintergrating. I felt hot all over (when it comes to performances, I get flushed.... J Turtle is the opposite - she freezes up o.o What about you guys?) and my throat was all choked up. I didn't think it showed on the outside, because I was under the impression my face was impassive. But clearly it wasn't, as everyone - from the judges, strolling past to get seated, to the other contestants - kept telling me to breathe, it'll be okay.

So we arrived there, and it was a tad awkward, just my mother and I sitting in this place with all these strangers.... there was alcohol... there were those gambling booths... I was terrified. Anyhow, I saw.. hm, let's call her Lina, another girl who was nominated from my school. We both figured out last week we were both nominated, but it was only tonight itself that we learnt there was in fact another girl nominated from my school. That's three Muslim girls from our school - and, just because I'm feeling the girl power - the other two nominees were girls too. Awesome, right?

So the guy who organises this got us together, and gave us a mini tour on how things were going to work tonight. He took us to this side waiting room, and was about to draw out names from a basket as to the speaking order, but we all volunteered out places. Lina went first, the other girl from my school... let's called her Birdy, she went second. I went third, and the other girls took the last places. I liked being third, because it's not first so it has everyone attention, but it's not last to be the most memorable.

We went back to the dining room, and the girls from my school sat at a massive table with my mother and I. The speeches commenced. Lina went up first, and she talked about why homework should be restricted. She was amazing - I found her humourous and reasonable too, and she speaks clearly. Applause. Then Birdy went up. She talked about happiness! I wanted to talk about something abstract, but someone had told me it had to be a set topic. Anyhow, her speech was cute and inspiring. Applause. 

Then I.

I was nervous, I was, and Amani - Lina's cousin, and also one of my primary school friends - kept reminding me to relax, and my mother rubbed my back, and I walked to the stage. In a weird way, I kind of felt calm. I got up there, I started saying my speech, and I looked at the audience - 'cause I knew the speech mostly, applying the same method I did for my English oral - but I had this way of not really focusing on the audience, so I was looking at them but not really.... anyway, my only moment of panic was when the four minute bell didn't ring. It's supposed to be a warning, so you know you have to wrap up your speech, and then at five minutes the guy would ring another bell and the judges would stop listening. The four minute bell is also a minimum time thing, though, and it was taking forever to the point I was scared I wasn't going to make this basic time limit.

But it rang, I finished my speech at about 4minutes and 15 seconds, and I scampered off the stage and to the safety of my seat, where my lovely companions showered me with praise.

The next girl spoke about genetic engineering, and I personally found it fascinating - I'm sure many did - but I guess the issue was many also had no idea what she was talking but. Some of the terms are not...everyday sort of language, if that makes sense. In fact, I'm not sure I understood everything either. But anyway, applause, and the next girl came up. She spoke about her dream of having an... equal world. The words I distinctly remember are: '...something something, not first world, or second world, or third world - but one world.' Her speech was beautiful too, but I think while it was written with emotion, it was not delivered with the passion it deserved. She wasn't dreadful, just not - only in my opinion - as enthusiastic as she could have been :/

ANYHOW. When that was over, we were taken to that back room, where we bonded and made friends... while we waited to go back in, one by one, to answer our 'impromptu questions'. It felt like an execution walk, and this is where my panic welled up again. Lina went first. Then Birdy. Then me.

The first question was:

'You are made mayor of [insermysuburbnamehere] with unlimited power. In your first two weeks, what do you hope to do?'

I thought. I thought some more. I was well aware of the audience, staring, and I think with each second they got more tense. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, so I said:

"To be honest, I have no idea."

It was not my intention to make them laugh, but somehow it did. Maybe it was the long wait. Maybe it was a tone. But either way, it kind of made me comfortable, so I went on to say that I simply couldn't fathom having 'unlimited power', I've never had it before, it was beyond my understanding.

They seemed to like it. The next question was:

"This room, as you can see, is full of people much older than you. What is it you think older folks get wrong about your generation?"

I thought about this, and my answer, I guess, was pretty predictable.

"I guess they think we're all addicted to social media, that we're completely dependant on technology, and we have lost our imaginations completely."

They laughed. A lot.  I escaped from the stage and watched the other two get slaughtered. Who am I kidding? One spoke about how she would organise a mini-youth group to help people her age achieve their dreams, and she'd focus on so much charity, and the other girl had something along the similar lines. They had similar answers to my 'older folks' question.

I'm so proud of the girls from my school though.

Lina apparently said something along the lines of how older people always tend to think what other older people tell them, and she went on to say that perhaps they should get to know us and figure out for themselves what we're really like. Birdy, apparently under pressure, announced that she loved older people. That's all ^^ But I'm glad they were different, you know?

Thennnn..... we waited forever for the judges to come up with their decision. We moaned about the the lack of food - we were all under the impression that dinner would be provided, not bought - and we glared at every waiter strolling past with ice-cream for the elite club members. We made stupid jokes, laughed like crazy - had all these snoot people grease us off - and then the guy who organised the thing got up on stage. He introduced the judges. We had to line up on the side. They talked a bit, and it turns out there's two awards. One for the Youth of the Year - who commences to the next round - and one for public speaking alone. Because 80% of what makes the YOTY is determined by the interview, and we all know how I screwed that up. I did not win YOTY, but

I

WON

FOR 

PUBLIC SPEAKING.

You cannot imagine how crazy with joy I was.

My mother walked in, a few hours ago, all hush hush, and she handed me a $50 note as her own personal gift. What I love about this award is that I do not feel like a failure, that I've pleased my parents, but I also don't have to go to the next round.

^^

Before that, I came back from Star's house, having just made cupcakes for a friend, and when I checked my email, I was invited by a certain organisation that I can't mention for the protection of my identity (can't help it, I'm paranoid - I've realised it's not because I'm afraid of you hunting me down, I'm afraid of people I know in real life finding me here :P ) to be their resident student blogger for a month!

I'M JUST SO HAPPY.

And tired. 

I just wanted to say thank you, again, for your words of encouragement and comfort ♥ 

Good night, day, morning, evening :)

ATM: 
Writing: NaNoWriMo.
Reading: Silas Marner. George Eliot. I think I'm getting to the point, though I've had to neglect it lately.
Listening to: Nada. It's getting late...
Feeling: Happy. I feel like God has answered my prayers. I'm so uplifted I can't even stress about exams (:

“Believe there is a great power silently working all things for good, behave yourself and never mind the rest.”
(Beatrix Potter)

Peace in,
Laila