A Little Understanding

I remember some days ago, Star and I had a conversation about maths.

And she said: 'I just want one day, only one, where I can come home from school, or just be at home, and think: 'I don't have to do maths today.'

That day is today. Haha, it makes it seem dramatic, like we've dropped out of it or something (I wish), but it's just that I finished yet another SAC today, and because we didn't start a chapter beforehand, I have no maths today. So I spent my time successfully... wasting it... o.o Hey, cut me some slack, I haven't wasted time in ages. I needed the breathing space.

That being said, although Star isn't technically doing maths now, she still has maths to do. Her teacher is a nutcase. He covered an entire chapter in one week, while they were also to be studying for the SAC, which is on the three chapters they did beforehand, which they covered before, during and after the mid-year exams, so nobody actually managed to catch up, and somehow he expects them to find time regardless of all the other subjects they do. Not to mention that although Star and I, and a number of others, are year 11s (so we're only doing 1 - 2max unit 3&4 subjects), the rest are year 12s and this is their final year, so every subject counts. They can't just prioritise one over another, like we can at this point, and so they must really suffer, but there's no mercy! The teacher, and the system in fact, forces us to go through the stupid course outline, and because it's so crammed, we just rush rush rush, and therefore don't actually learn anything... just do what we have to, if that makes sense. We're robots. Can we move to Finland?

I mentioned Finland last year, I think. I had to. I had this obsession with that country, 'cause I was looking at education systems, and Finland's is most superior. They don't focus on pushing everyone ahead. They don't focus on getting everything done quickfast. And most importantly, they don't just let anyone become a teacher.

See, I'm not insulting every teacher of Victoria, because there are many great ones, I have a few of them myself. But there are some that you can't help but notice... are not so good. Like Star's maths teacher. He can't teach to save his life. You cannot make head nor tail of what he's saying, and he explains fairly terribly. There are other teachers who just tell you to these questions, but they don't teach you. Others reiterate whatever the book says, without explaining. Others just spend entire lessons talking about themselves, or gossiping with the students. Don't get me wrong, forming a bond between teacher and student is important, but there does come a point where it's not only unnecessary, but it's vulgar. Like, I know a teacher who likes to share intimate details of his... private life. It's foul.

Once again, this does not apply to all teachers of Victoria, Australia. I've had some awesome ones. My legal teacher, for example, is uber fantastic. Yeah, she's a bit of a diva, and she enjoys talking about her life, but it's appropriate, and she does teach us. When she teaches, it's simplified, easy to understand, relevant, exactly what we need to know, and she's not shoving things down our throats. She builds a comfortable atmosphere, and even the most laziest of students I've noticed actually do stuff for our class. And when she says study 'this, this, and this for your SAC/exam', it's reliable. 

And my Literature teacher.... *sigh*.... it's not a dreamy sigh of looks, 'cause he's rather old and I'm not one for crushing on teachers, but it's a dreamy sigh of his magnificence. He knows his stuff. He teaches so well. It's... rather hard to explain. He's strict, a harsh marker, but he's kind too, and he teaches things so well. Gah. I said that already. But yeah ^^

I can't go through every awesome teacher I've ever had, but just this last one: my maths teacher from last year. If you've been reading my blog from then, you may have heard of some episodes. Hilariously sarcastic and mean, strict and demanding on work, definitely no-nonsense, but fair and clear. He explains things. When one person needs help on a question, he explains it to everyone. If no one asks for help, he 'assumes' that we already know things, and therefore gives us a surprise test, or moves on, etc. This actually forces us to ask questions when we need it, and really proves when we're up to date, and it works. He was amazing, if not lovable and all. Gosh, I miss him. Wish we had him this year.

That being said, the negatives are more a matter of the system than the teachers. It's the system that makes this so difficult by having too much on the course outline and too little time to learn it. It's the system that almost turns us against each other because it's designed to be competitive. It's the system that allows those who aren't as high achievers in high school and uni to easily become teachers.

It's not that if you don't have the best marks you can't be excellent in life. But because teachers are the ones who are supposed to help you do well in high school, they ought to have experience. If not experience, the standards still have to be high. If it's 'easy' to become a teacher, people may just choose it because they can, not because they have the motivation to help people learn. If they're 'rejects', so to speak, how are they going to make us magnificent? 

The other thing is, over here, teachers are kind of at the bottom of the scale. They're not the most... admirable of occupations, if you know what I mean. They're not up there with doctors and lawyers, etc. If they're not deemed as respectable and what have you as the others, if they're considered to be at the feet of society, why would they put too much effort into their work? Few appreciate it. 

I'm exaggerating some of it, they're not at our feet, but they're just not as appreciated and motivated as they should be. See, this is why Finland is awesome. Their focus is on making teachers excellent. It's a highly-esteemed occupation, with soaring standards and good pay. If it's difficult to become, you know that the people who try to get it are serious about their job. 

Their other focus is not on pushing smart students forward, but on making sure everyone is on track. Not just GO GO GO. If the smart kid finishes his work and the teacher is busy, he helps the not-so-quick kid. They build a no-pressure environment this way, as well as the fact that education is 100% free of cost, from books to transport. Imagine that.

Ohkay, I think I got a bit carried away. You know, half way through writing this post, I actually went and Skyped with my cousin. 'Aha!' you exclaim, after the last post I had, and I shamefully tuck my tail between my legs and meekly walk away, head bowed humbly.

I just needed a vent, I guess, and I was feeling bratty. Arvie was right, I can get myself out of it, (she always knows the right thing to say, kudos to her ^^ ) and I have. My kind of epiphany:

I was going through all these pictures I have saved on my laptop, you know, from various tumblrs I randomly browse (I'm addicted and I don't even have one!) and weheartit (same goes). One of these pictures, I saved ages ago, said (as schmaltzy as it sounds):

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they have.

I would put up the picture, but I don't have a link, and it feels like stealing ._.

But anway, that's besides the point. The point is that I wanted to be doted on by some specific people in a specific way, and it didn't happen. And I was being unfair, particularly to my favourite cousin. For one, she's getting married in like two months, at least, her reception will be then, and she is somewhat busy. Somewhat. Talking to her now, laziness is still part of the equation. The other thing is that their house is having renovations, and it's been somewhat busy with that. Somewhat.

The other thing is that she told me today she checks her email everyday to see if I've sent her something, and she's been counting the days since I last emailed her. She remembers the date, off the top of her head. No, she can't find time to email me, but apparently my emails make her day and she loves reading them and she wants me to email her more. She remembers everything I ever tell her, and she finds whatever I say interesting, somehow.

This is difficult for me, I like emails in return, thankyouverymuch, but ... =^_^= I feel loved. Heh. Someone smack me the next time I whine. I'm a despicable being.

I have more to say, but it's getting late, and I don't want to bore you. It's holidays after tomorrow, insha'allah I'll find time to post.... although it's not really holidays 'cause my Literature teacher calls it 'NIPS', Non-Instructional Period of Studying. He expects 40 hours a week. He says it's a dream, he knows it won't happen, but he likes to pretend it will. Love him x)

Just one more question, Arvie reminded me of: do the pictures on the side bother you? I'm a little weary after PurpleMist's post on things that annoy her about some blogs, and I agree with her mostly, but... I like those pictures, and yet, I don't want to bother you...I have to keep reminding myself that this blog is for ME. I'm not writing to impress people, it's just me expressing MYSELF. Venting. This is like my diary. But I'm human and I can't help but get excited everytime someone comments, so I don't want to chase anyone away ^^

ATM:

Reading:... okay, well, I am going to start Fear. Just... with the last methods SAC... yea...

Writing: OH! I have no title for this, but Star and I had this brainwave and we're going to do a collab novel and it's going to be EPIC!

Listening to: Fearless. Taylor Swift. 'Tis cute.

Feeling: LOVED. LOVED. LOVED.

And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance 

In a storm in my best dress
Fearless

Peace in,

Laila