Well, Meli's post sort've inspired me to do some research on the topic of feminism...
... and let's just say sometimes my researching is very incredibly lazy. I donno... one look at the Wiki page, and I was like o.O Hey, I had a brief look over it, and I guess I agree with the general ideology, that is:
Feminist theory aims to understand gender inequality
and focuses on gender politics, power relations, and sexuality. While
providing a critique of these social and political relations, much of
feminist theory also focuses on the promotion of women's rights and
interests. Themes explored in feminist theory include discrimination, stereotyping, objectification (especially sexual objectification), oppression, and patriarchy.
I mean, most of it coincides with Islam and my thoughts too - y'know, stereotyping, objectification, oppression. If by partriarchy they mean women's involvment in government, then yes, that too. Islam already gives women voting rights, rights to property, etc, so my disagreeing with feminism in that context would be disagreeing with my own religion.
So yeah, I was thinking, feminism, that's all great and awesome... but then my sister and I had a discussion. For a uni assignment, she has to write an essay on how gender contributes to crime. Men statistically commit more crimes than women, and their's tend to be more violent at that. I think women only beat them in prostitution. Anyway, she was saying how in the discussion at uni, a lot of feminists kept piping up and saying, well, yeah, women do commit crimes, they're just not given enough opportunities to do it as often!
o.O
Okay.
See, sometimes I think that feminists are so bent on trying to be 'equal' to men or whatever, that they kind of go around proving men are superior. How do I say this? It's like... the way they kind of go on about how women can do this too! and women can do that as well! makes it seem as though they're trying to catch up with men.
In my religion, we do give women a lot of rights, but we also respect that each gender is different. That men and women have different strengths. And I think that feminism should be about trying to gain respect for and appreciate what women naturally do, rather than trying to prove that we can do what men do. I mean, if a woman wants to go in the workforce, that's fine. It's her choice, as it is to have babies or not. But, I mean, becoming a wrestler and getting all buff to show that women can be as tough as men is just plain stupid in my eyes. It's almost petty, you know. Likewise, that comment on women not being given the 'opportunity to commit crimes' is just ridiculous. Why should we be whining about that? We should be like: HECK YEAH, WE DON'T COMMIT CRIMES AS OFTEN. THIS IS ONE OF OUR STRENGTHS. WE HAVE SELF CONTROL.
I'm not saying all feminists think like this, to each her own, I guess. This is just for that type.
I feel like when we're trying to prove ourselves to men, we lose what makes us great as well. How to say this? Ummm... oh yeah. So for Lit, we did a comparative essay between Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and the 1994 film version by Kenneth Branagh. One of the differences, as discussed in class, was the representation of Elizabeth. In the novel, she's a bit of a softie, in the film, well, as Mr H said, it was to appeal to post-feminist crowd. So I'll show you my paragraph on it:
Another
natural order that fits into her time period would be the role of a woman.
Shelley’s Elizabeth complies with the general expectations of a lady – a mother
figure fit for the home. Elizabeth possesses the nurturing, caring
characteristics that show her to be rather self-sacrificing and adaptive to all
situations, particularly that surrounding Frankenstein. She puts up with the
mystery of his misadventures with patience, and in the eyes of a modern woman,
may seem to be a pushover. However, Shelley intends to celebrate the woman at
home, her selfless attributes, her role as the ‘comforter’ is what gets the
family through its most trying times, and she is more of a heroine than a
doormat, or damsel in distress. Branagh, perhaps sensing the sensitivity of a
post-feminist crowd, seeks to make the film Elizabeth stronger. However, the
‘buffing’ up of her character, her demanding nature and the need to be the top
priority – it’s her or the project to save mankind – takes away that
appreciation for femininity. Elizabeth’s character in the film is more selfish,
less sensitive, and definitely more lustful than that in the novel. She rushes off to the university after a little
convincing because Frankenstein does not write, and then she demands to be a
part of the project, or that he should choose from it or her. She wants to
leave when she feels Frankenstein isn’t meeting her standards. Rather than
immediately taking it upon herself to help the family get through, she delays
it – though it is not her fault for the plot changes, it takes away Shelley’s
approval of her altruism, and the nature of women in general.
Do you get what I'm saying? Why do we have to sort've change ourselves in order to get respect - why can't we get it for what we are?
What irritates me most is the contempt or... 'sympathy' for the woman at home. The 'mother figure', as mentioned. I have been half-brainwashed by my parents to think that I should complete school, get sky high results, go to university, study something very, very great, and get the best job possible; something like a doctor, or a lawyer. They did it with best intentions, however, so I don't condemn them for it, nor do I call it a full on brainwash. But all through my childhood, I've been taught to sort of find my role models in working women in high paying jobs and position. Everytime I was to write on the person I admire, I wrote on some lady I knew personally (or not) that was like that.
I admire them, I do. In fact, our beloved Prophet (SAW)'s first wife, Khadija, was a top class businesswoman, and in her time, it was a particularly amazing feat.
I just don't understand why some women are put through a kind of inferiority complex because they stay at home permanently and play the role of the housewife + mother. On my holiday to Sri Lanka, I found my real role model (at least, a real alive role model - obviously the Prophet (SAW)'s wives are the greatest).
Let me tell you about my aunty. She's my father's youngest brother's wife. Her marriage was probably semi-arranged, like most in our family - i.e. parents bring you potential suitors, you talk to them, decide if you like 'em, and if you do, you're wedded. I heard that although this side of the family loves to indulge in sadistic pranks on wedding days, for their wedding it wasn't done because she cried so much when her parents left.
They have a 'gang' on this side - all my older cousins are in it. They go out, have fun together, that sort of thing. And she's their gang leader. When they have problems, they talk to her. When they want advice, they talk to her. If they want to say something they can't tell their parents, they go to her. In fact, I was told that even the boy cousins, ones that are in their 20s and such, they even tell her about their crushes and such. One of my boy cousins couldn't tell anyone but her his criteria for the kind of wife he wanted, so they could start looking. This kind of stuff is pretty hush-hush there, so you can imagine how trustworthy she is for them to talk to her.
She guides their gang with vivacity, wisdom and pure awesomeness. And yet, she's not one of those wannabe-young old people. She fits in with every crowd - the youngsters, her generation, the oldies. She speaks all three languages - English, Tamil and Sinhala. She's bubbly and sweet, and such an all rounder on everything.
She maintains this role as everyone's friend as well as being a mother of three. Her kids - I love them to bits. Her oldest boy, Ammaar, is ten, and I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but he's my little gentlemen. Her daughter is a doll, a glitzy little diva, it's adorable. And Aqi-boy - well, you've seen him. Just AWWtimes25.
Her primary focus in life is raising her kids and being a good housewife. She doesn't work, but she's educated. Although her kids go to Tamil-medium schools, because of her they can speak Tamil, English and Sinhala too (and it's funny, when they're conversing, they just randomly switch between each one without even realising ^^ ). She's religious as well, and she knows her stuff. And if you think arranged marriages, even semi-arranged, are awkward, you haven't met them (well, okay, you haven't met anyone in our family - it would be hard to believe they're arranged, trust me :P ). But just the way her and her hubby, my uncle, interact. He worked in England for a whole lot of years, and she raised the kids on her own. Now he's back, and it's like they have't missed a beat. Yes, occasionally they bicker, but they make up so quickly too. The jokes, the kisses on the cheek before work, the balancing of their kids - it's amazing.
Under the eyes of a modern, feminist type of woman, my aunty may appear somewhat inadequate and dull, even useless, but I think she's wonderful. She puts a hundred percent into her family, and she somehow manages to be there for everyone. I've yet to meet another within our community who does it like her, and that's why if anyone were to ask me now who my role model is, I automatically think of her.
On a sidenote: her name is Sumaya, the name of the first female martyr for Islam. Go figure.
ATM:
Writing: Chipped. So wow, I had about 6 hours yesterday, trapped in the confined back room of my sister's shop with nothing but my laptop and trashy music playing in the background. I wrote. Heaps.
Reading: Brotherband. John Flanagan. LoL, I was supposed to read this ages ago. I'm only two chapters in, but it's JF, so it's automatically awesome.
Listening to: Je Veux. Zaz. ZOMG, awesome song, and even if you don't listen, you must read the English translation of the lyrics. It's lovely.
Feeling: Content. I guess. No major upsides or downsides.
I want love, joy and cheerfulness
Your money won't buy me happiness
I just want to die with a hand on my chest
Let's go together discover my freedom
Let you forget all your stereotypes
Welcome into my reality
Your money won't buy me happiness
I just want to die with a hand on my chest
Let's go together discover my freedom
Let you forget all your stereotypes
Welcome into my reality
Peace in,
Laila
