Where Babies Come From

I remember the day I learnt that babies are not bought from special shops called Hospitals, that day when all the notions of angelic storks flew out the window.

I remember that our dad had just dropped us off from school, and my mother was still in the kitchen. My sister sort of caught me in that moment where we lingered in the hallway. She had this really evil glint in her eye, and she leaned in close and said: "Do you want to know where babies come from?"

Obviously, that by itself does not say much. But it was the tone, the kind of tone that suggests a nasty joke is going to follow, at your expense. And the expression, mischievous, devious. Without her having to say anything further, I knew it was something 'bad', and I remember covering my ears and running for it, down two hallways and out the back door, screaming 'NANANANANANA I CAN'T HEAR YOUUU!' all the way. I must have been 8 or 9 years old.

She never did give me the details, and I don't actually know when I learned those details, but I count that moment as the one that stole that part of my innocence. Clearly I had been anticipating such a terrible deed when it came out, so that's why I wasn't so shocked as to have the actual memory for the day.

But while I know my own experiences of learning where babies came from, I kind of took my sister's for granted, you know? I never did ask her how she learnt, because I was so devastated that she took that away from me. Well, yesterday, my older sister, Creepy Z, and I were taking a walk down memory lane, and I got the full story.

Let's rewind, way before I ran out screaming and my sister first turned to me with that evil look in her eye.

She's at school, and she happens to look over the shoulders of some guys in her class, on the computer, and lo and behold, what does she see? Some very intimate photos. Lots of people, lack of clothes. You know what I mean. Don't make me say it.

And her little self-righteous self is aghast. 

"What are you looking at? Why are you doing that?" she snaps. The boys kind of roll their eyes.

"Don't you know where babies come from?" one bonehead asks her. And she's still aghast, but now a little disbelieving too, and slightly shocked and disgusted. And a bit curious.

So after we fast forward passed our moment in the hallway of my house, you find her spending the entire day trying to make 'appointments' with my mother. My mother would be in the kitchen, serving lunch, then cleaning up, then making dinner, then cleaning up, and in all these various intervals, my sister'd approach.

"Mum," she'd say hesitantly. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Yes?" my mother'd reply, her usual indifferent sort of self. My sister would blank, and with hurried mumble of 'nothing', she'd evacuate. It soon became clear she was not going to have That Conversation with my mother, so she had to wait for a certain someone else.

That someone is a girl called Sabriah. Subriah? Umm... wow. I don't even know how to spell her name. But basically, her family is really close with ours, our dads go back to sharing a house in their bachelor days, as they always remind us. Sabriah, she plays the role of both my older sister's close friend, and a kind of older sister for her too. She's the wise one. I have so much respect for her, because she was the one who got me to read Harry Potter. I don't know about you, but usually when my sister hung out with her friends, I'd be kicked out by all of them being the annoying kid sister, and they were never nice about it. Sabriah always made sure I had something to do. 

Anyhow, the point is, my sister kept all this turmoil inside until we visited them. The two of them disappeared into her room, leaving me with the piano that day, maybe. I don't really remember.

As soon as they're locked in, my sister bursts.

"Where are babies from?" she asks, finally allowing the panic she's been penting up to surface. "Because this guy told me this... blah blah blah... but I don't think that's right. It can't be right. It must be haraam. Allah would never allow something like that. It can't be."

Sabriah kind of blinks, and says: "Umm, I think you should say the shahadah, quick, I think you just went outside of Islam then."

I mean, they were both fairly young. My sister would have been 9 or 10, and I guess Sabriah would have been 11 or 12.

Anyway, as soon as my sister affirmed her faith again, Sabriah sat her down with a heavy sigh, one burdened with the weight of bad news.

"I'm afraid it's true," she said, much to my sister's horror.

And that's my sister's story. Why did I share it? Besides the fact that it amuses me, well, the moral is: my older sister was actually really cute once ^_^

So tell me, do you guys have stories about that one moment in your life? Know anyone else's weird or cute stories? I know a guy whose younger sister broke it to him, and he cried. My cousin also said that in our ickle village, if they don't learn it at school, the uncles break it to the boys just before they get married. Girls, due to our official change from girl to woman, learn it a bit earlier. And I mean, tell me, does anyone actually ever have That Talk with their parents, like I always see in movies and TV shows and stuff? I don't think I've ever met someone who has o.O

Peace in,
Laila

The 'Strong' Female Lead

I read this post a few days ago, and I'm just very happy about it :) Why? It's kind of like a 'my-thoughts-exactly' situation, only Derek Landy (and I guess, his 'Twitter-wife'...?) just added to it, you know, developed the idea to more sophisticated proportions that my brain couldn't do, on its own.

[INTERMISSION: Have you people read the Skulduggery Pleasant books? If you haven't, DO READ THEM. They are hilarious. So completely laugh-out-loudable. And yeah, the storylines are exciting, captivating (though admittedly, when he gets to specific fighting scenes, he loses me), and the characters, whether they're evil or not, you love 'em all. But for me, personally, they're just so funny and that's the main reason why you should read them :) ]

So anyhow.

Over the last year or so, I've noticed this certain pattern in some kinds of YA novels, the dystopian or fantasy or adventure-y type. Mind you, not all of them are like I'm going to describe, but still enough for me to make out this pattern.

Basically, there will be a leading female character. She will be a kick-butt, in-yo-face ninja type. Or she will try to be this type, for the purpose of her story. Completely tomboy. And then, added to that, she has this certain kind of 'angry' attitude - you know, she repels people, she finds it difficult to accept love, maybe she's socially awkward, she's just better at hitting people, blah blah blah. And sometimes, if you get really lucky, she's also contemptuous of all things girly, or the homebody type of female.

And I'd read this books, write up a review or whatever, and check out other people's opinions (other reviews, or just you know, ask friends who've read them), and the general view is kind of like "gutsy female lead, strong, resilient"... that kind of thing, you know?

And it really irked me. Firstly, it just annoyed me that this was the type that got all the praise. What, so now girls have to be angry and masculine in order to be deemed 'respectable' female characters? I mean, to me, those characters were highly unlikeable personally, but now they were the role models for what the perfect female character was supposed to be.

Let me just say, I am not a 'girly girl'. I think I'm developing some 'girly girl' tendencies, 'cause, well, I'm a little more conscious about what I wear, and yesh, I do like pretty clothes, though perhaps not to the extreme of my sister, or feeling that desire to fit into the trends, or.... you know, I sound really defensive. And I'm digressing. 

But what I'm trying to say is, while I'm not into makeup and shoes and giggly-gossiping and shopping and checking out guys all the time, I don't begrudge that for other girls. Well, maybe the gossiping - sometimes I try to divert the topic and if it gets serious, I do start telling them off. BUT, generally speaking, if that's what they like, why should I be holding them in contempt? They're not hurting anyone. Except with the gossiping, maybe...

ANYWAY. The point is, the point is, when these female leads that I'm talking about start dissing the 'airheads' that are fashionable or lovestruck, I just get really annoyed. No, I mean, I wouldn't, if not for the fact that I've noticed it in multiple books this year and the last. If it was just one here or there, whatever, you know? But this is a pattern. A trend. An unhealthy one. That's mostly being applauded.

So yeah, I started getting really annoyed at this developing stereotype. And then I read that post by Derek Landy, and his Twitter-wife's article (although, admittedly, some of it was lost on me, because I'm not really familiar with all the superhero movie references she makes o.o), and I was just so pleased because they highlighted this issue, in their wise way, and did it without the raging and ranting that I would have done it with, and yeah. 

One of the messages is basically:

REMOVE THE LABELS. Let female characters be female characters. 

I mean, take Bella Swan. I remember, when I was in 'Camp Anti-Twilight', this girl on SW was doing a series of rants about different aspects of Twilight. And she was doing character focused ones, and when she got to Bella... well, you can imagine how much she had to say. Everyone has a lot to say. The common criticism is that she's weak (and angsty and annoying and co-dependant and pathetic and blahdiblahblah). This girl, doing her rants, was all like 'Bella is such a disgrace, while she so readily helps around the house and blah blah, you will never find her doing something that's not all wifey/motherly, you know, like painting a fence or something....".

And, even being in Camp Anti-Twilight, I still didn't really like that argument. Yes, Bella was angsty and all that jazz, but why the need to mention she doesn't do what she calls 'guy work'? So what? My older sister doesn't do guy work. She hates working outside the house. She hates getting her hands dirty. Big deal. I don't think that makes her a disgrace to womankind. And I don't think it's a crime to be weak, either. Boys and girls both can be weak, and in the name of making 'realistic' characters, why would it be such a bad thing to have a protagonist that was 'weak' in that way? 

""Strength" is one dimensional. It's saying "women can be strong like men", NOT "women are flawed, complex, brilliant, weak LIKE MEN."

(That being said, I'm still not a fan of Twilight, but to each his/her own *shrug*)

Also, that 'stereotype' that I mentioned was developing? I'm not really against it, in the sense that like Bella-Swan types of girls, there are obviously the angry-antisocial-tomboy types of girls too. I just want to remove this notion that they are the epitome of what the perfect female character - or female - should be. 

Really, read the blog post + the article. Much more worth reading than this post, for that matter x) 

Thoughts?

Okay, just some other things...

THE BOOK THIEF TRAILER CAME OUT!!! ZOMG. ZOMG. Okay. It's awesome. 

And you know, if you were thinking of Death, according to the amazing Markus Zusak: 

"…and I will just say to all the loyal readers out there who might be wondering if Death narrates the actual film, as he does in the book:

The answer is an emphatic

YES.

...

Just as he does in the book, Death will help look after us.

And he’ll do his very best."

 

Ummm... yeah. I have my first exam (French oral) on the 23rd of October o_o Scared. I donno. Everything's so close. Talking about the Valedictory dinner and the Farewell Assembly, getting the dates for final SACs, applying for universities, getting 'life talks'... it's just overwhelming. Trying not to think about it, but it just keeps coming back :/

Peace in,

Laila