My Lord! Open up for me my heart. And ease for me my task. And untie the knot of my tongue.
That they may understand my speech.

Qur'an - 20:25-28

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Ramadan Kareem!

I know this is a bit late, but a combination of illness and ohmyGodtheholidaysareendingandIhavetonnesofhomeworktodo prevented me from writing this. I also was waiting for someone else to write one of these posts, or I donno, something related, but it didn't happen...

Anyway, the point is, to all my Muslim brothers and sisters out there:

... well, I mean, the title said it all.

And to everyone else, well, how are y'all doin'? You know it's much easier to type that than say it. I mean, I just tried saying that, but, erm, it sounds weird. Whatever. It sounds about right in my head.

So for those of you who don't know what Ramadan's all about, I wrote a post about it here, and also, this is one of the first posts of Ghadeer's that I read, and I feel like it just perfectly encapsulates the atmosphere. So now that we're in the spirit, I'ma continue.

I've only been on the blogosphere for two Ramadans, so I don't know if I can actually call this a 'tradition' yet, but both years I set myself a theme. I already had it in mind what I wanted to do this year, but for the aforementioned reason of ohmyGodtheholidaysareendingandIhavetonnesofhomeworktodo, I felt like I couldn't do it because I hadn't done enough research to do this... topic... justice. So insha'allah, I'm saving it for next year.

But I just can't let Ramadan go without Something, you know? So I just decided I'll put up random stuff every week or so. Maybe. I don't know.

Well, whatever, I was just looking for an excuse to share this video:


(OH, um, just in case you get ideas by that title, it's not in any way putting down Jesus or anything. I mean, duh, we believe in him too. Maybe differently, but still with the same respect we give Muhammad (SAW) )

Okay, I confess, I sort'vemaybe am a littlebitinlove with him. His name is Kamal Saleh, and this year he was at the annual Mercy Mission/Al Kauthar conference - this one being 'Twins of Faith'. I, however, knew him from earlier on from this video my older sister's non-Muslm friend showed us - one on love and marriage. I was star-struck then, but even more so when that awful 'Innocence of Muslims' video showed up. If you check out my 'Better View' page (does anyone check that out?), I put his response video up there then. I just love that he has all the right words, all the right knowledge. Me? I was on the verge of posting my own response to that video, but I knew I'd just go insane with rage, and it'd come out a little like this:


... and we had enough crazy Muslims on the loose.


So I let Kamal do his thing and I fell in love with him. The best part, the best part is - I didn't actually go to the Twins of Faith thing, because it was too expensive for us this year, and I didn't volunteer because I thought school would be busy (which it wasn't -_-'). But he was here this year, and my sister got the DVD as a volunteer, and he was just so bashful, in a way, on stage, like, he looked so nervous and gentle and AAAAAGH 

I'MGONNADIE.

Yeah. So now I'm showing you that video, because I think it's just so lovely again, and I wish I could speak so reasonably like that, so eloquently, so knowledgably (that a word?).


Also, I heard this conference (the Mercy Mission/Al Kauthar one - I can never tell which one) touched down in Dubai and Pakistan! You GUYS. Go check it out and when it happens x) If it's the same as the ones here, well, they're superdy awesome.

Just some random scenes from this Ramadan:

Haloomi does her first ever full day fast:
My mother has just come home from work, and we're setting the table for iftar. She's flicking through some letters.
"Ma, Haloomi didn't break her fast," I say.
"Mhm," she says absentmindedly. "It's okay. It's just her first one. She's still little."
"Ma," I say. "She didn't break her fast."
She freezes. Looks up at me slowly. Stares. Gawks.
"Are you sure? Really? Truly? Are you sure she's not lying?" All the words tumble out at once, and I'm all like way to have faith in your kids.
But I'm pleased, because Louise has come over for iftar with her girls, and I can hear my mother speaking proudly, and it makes me proud because these are the things she won't say to our face. For example:
To me: Why don't you ever study? You're so lazy! Do you know soandso's daughter/son wakes up at 7am to study, and doesn't stop studying even past midnight? But look at you, reading, sleeping at 10! Shame, shame, shame!
To her friends: Yeah, my Laila, she's so organised, she always brings home good grades, masha'allah, she wakes up on time, and sleeps on time, and she does all her study within organised times, and she's trying to be healthy too...

So when I hear her bragging, it makes me so happy :)

My mother babys my older cousin, who's like twentysomething:
If there's food on the stove, all cooked, it's just expected that we (my sisters and I) come and serve ourselves and eat up on time. My cousin, on the other hand, has to be told. She needs to wake him up to go to work or uni, but I have to set my own alarm. It's no big deal, but she just treats him like her ickle baby, and I'm like, woman, if you miss babying, have another kid - your nephew is a MAN. Stop spoonfeeding him.
So the other night, she was at work and she was to come home after iftar. She told us to pack some food for my cousin before he went to work. He was all like 'nah, I'll have it when I come back.' I packed it anyway, I put it on the table, I told him to humour me, humour my mother, but he just waved us off. My older sister was like 'what're we going to do? Mother's going to kill us.'
I was like, 'Leave it on the table so she can see that we did our bit.'
So mother comes home, and I point it out, and tell her just that. She stares at it for a moment, then looks at us with disbelief. 
"Are you serious?" she snaps. "That's all you packed him?"

And now I'm going to go and not stay up late reading thus resulting in my waking up late and doing everything late so that homework starts at 4pm and even then I'll be watching Superwoman videos. No, no. That will not happen.

Wishing y'all happy days (Y'ALL. It just sounds so BIZARRE.) and lots of hugs. And patience and yummy food. 

Peace in,
Laila

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Where I respond to an Anon

C'est ma vacance. Or the NIPS: Non-Instructional Period of Study.

I felt like I ought to write something while I can, but I didn't know what, exactly. It's the halfway point of the year. I was thinking of maybe summing up the highlights/happenings of the year so far:

1. Well, there was the formal.

2. Before that, I got my senior jumper, you know, the one where you put on a nickname? I really really wanted to have my surname on it, like a soccer player or something, but then, that's what my sister did when she was in year 12, and she kept alternating between: 'D'aw, look at you, trying to be like me' and 'Don't copy me, stupid'. Both of them hurt my ego. Why do we have to have the same surname? WHY? (That was rhetorical.) So yeah, I ended up with 'Nemo', which is what my little sister used to call me when she was still learning to talk. Hm.

3. My grades. My grades. I've had 100%s all year in English and Legal. In History, I've had A+s, one a perfect score, one off by one mark. In French.... hahaha. Haha. French. Well, I haven't failed it. It's been a mix of Bs and As. Haha. French.

4. Oh, two weeks ago, I went with three of my friends to Melbourne's Amnesty International/Welcome to Australia 'Walk Together' event, in support of refugees and asylum seekers. It was fun. I felt proactive. Some guy came up and said he was a journalist and asked for a photo. We were all like, yokay, sure thing dude. We did not ask what paper, we did not ask for a name. Only later it occurred to us that he could have been a creeper. I like to think not. Eh. C'est la vie.

5. On Saturday, I went to Monkey Pina's house. We made pizzas, like, with the outside oven and everything. 'Twas fun. And for some bizarre reason, she had this Gossip Girl card game-y thing, so we decided to play it. Um. Lesson of the Day: We're not Gossip Girls. Well, it was funny, anyhow x)

6. Huh, did I mention I turned 18? In May, of course. Fun, fun, fun.

7. My sister and I are not completely made up yet, but we're sort've talking. I gave her one of my Ferrero Rochers. 

8. MY COUSINS' BABIES ARE DUE THIS MONTH. SQUEE.

Okay, now I'm going to get to the part where I respond to l'Anon's request....

"...can you make a post about your aims for year 12 in terms of your atar, blah blah, and also about the top 5 things you want to do in the future, accompanied by the top 5 uni courses and uni as well?"

Ohwait, hold up guys. I'm going to do something uber creepy and maybe disturbing, but um, bear with me.

OhmyGod. OhmyGod. I just did the most awkward thing. OhmyGod.

I just... I just...

OhmyGod.

I... just watched a video on birth. I mean, not on birth, but of birth. A woman giving birth. OhmyGod.

*inhales, exhales*

Okay, to answer one of your questions, dear Anon, the uni course I planned to take was Midwifery. I wanted to do it at Monash. But, despite my many fluffy reasons behind why I want to be a midwife, recently it occurred to me that - well, to put it frankly - birth is not a fluffy thing. It can be bloody, from what I've heard, excruciating, and, well, pretty darn ugly. And I thought to myself, can I handle this?

In order to figure out how I would know, I asked a family friend who's taking the course. She told me the key to this answer is in Youtube. 'Type in birth videos'. I'd been meaning to do it, but I either forgot, or procrastinated, because, really, giving birth - actual birth, not a movie thing - seems like such a personal thing. Furby told me that if they're putting it on Youtube, clearly they don't mind people seeing. But honestly, it just feels invasive. And, of course, I was scared. I was scared that I couldn't handle it, and where would that leave me? I have, really, no other career path in mind, besides writing, but that's not something I can depend on, and I don't even know if I want to make it a career.

But I just did it, people. Right now. I watched a video. Just the one, for now, but apparently I have to watch multiple ones. However, the fact of the matter is, I watched it, and I didn't puke. So there. Midwifery (at Monash, hopefully) is still on. If not Monash, then Deakin. If not there, well, I donno.

Okay, so let me back track. Aims of year 12. My ATAR. For those of you who don't know, it's the Big Final Score, or, technically, ranking. I may or may not have mentioned it before, but generally speaking, 80+ is pretty darn excellent, 60 to 70 is a bit average, and below that... well, on the Asian scale, it's pretty bad. Though, I guess, on the Asian scale, anything below 80 is bad.

My aim? I want a 90+.  The highest possible score you can ever get is 99.95, which is obviously what my mother expects of me (NOT. She expects 99.99. She doesn't believe me when I say that rank does not exist), but I don't think so. But a 90+ in general? Yes please.  If you want me to get specific in terms of scores for my individual grades, well. I finished Methods last year and got a 30 (scales up to 36). I finished Literature last year and got a 41 (scales up to 42). For English and Legal, I'm aiming for above 40 as well, as high as possible. For History, I'm not entirely sure, but I can settle for 35+. For French, I really want a 30+ as well, but I donno. I can't quite grasp how good I am at it, and what my competition is like. So yeah :/

My other goals for year 12 include: make friends. Okay, not like that. More like, ensure that the friendships I have are strong enough to survive post-high school. I love my friends dearly, and I'm also co-dependant, and I donno how I'm going to survive the real world, and I NEED THESE PEOPLE. AND I LOVE THEM AND CAN'T SEE MY LIFE AHEAD WITHOUT THEM. Also, this may sound odd, but I'd like to 'take back' my Muslim friends. Sad fact (for me): I don't have any close Muslim school friends. Mainly because my original class in high school had no Muslims, and the ones from primary school kind of slipped away. But as much as I love my non-Muslim friends, there are things about me that they just wouldn't understand, and I have a feeling the differences are going to become more apparent when we're out of high school. It's not that I think they'll stop being my friends, but I feel like I need people that I can relate to more, who'll understand aspects of my life more. So I'm working on getting my old Muslim friends back. It's not hard, 'cause we're all still on good terms. Just not... close terms. Hm.

Finally, I want to do something Big as an Art Vice-Captain for the school. I was given a responsibility, I want to make sure it's fulfilled in the best way possible. I don't want to be the one that leaves everyone with the complaint of 'they never do anything, those captains'. I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to do yet, but I'm working on it.

So that's high school :)

Okay, onwards, life goals and blah blah. Erm. Well, truthfully, I don't really have any specific goals for the future. I'm afraid of expectations. I hate it when you plan something or want something and expect it to happen and then it doesn't... it's just.... slap. Ouch. Burn.

I don't have a 'top five uni courses' list, for that matter, either. As I mentioned, I only have Midwifery, because it's the only career path I want. If it was just to study for the fun of it, I'd probably go down the artsy path, Literature maybe, or Criminology. But it's not career stuff, you know? Just learning for the sake of learning. 

For life in general... well. Ehm. There are sort-of plans I like to entertain in my mind, but nothing really solid, you know? Some depend on chance, others depend on the money I have. Like, I always thought that as soon as I finished high school, I could go back to Sri Lanka and spend time there. Heck, maybe even to Dubai, and stay with my cousin for a while. I also wanted to go to the FIFA World Cup next year, in Brazil, but I mean, pshhh. Yeah right. Those dreams were in the time when the Financial Crisis was still open to the possibility of getting our money back in the immediate future. That's no longer the case. So I don't think travelling is in the immediate future...

... although... *blushes* I also liked the idea of getting married soonish too, and I have my reasons for this that I don't feel like explaining now but if you really want to know I might find it in me to explain that in another post ANYWAY, the point is, in theory, I could get married soon, and *blushes* for the honeymoon, I'd love to go on Hajj. Ohwow. What a dream. But, erm, I haven't the slightest idea how I'm supposed to get myself a guy, and as much as I understand semi-arranged marriages, I don't think it'll work for me. I feel like I was brought up too differently to be able to adjust to that, but again, I'm too awkward (and not very attractive) to land myself a guy, so marriage in the immediate future? Not likely.

AND I WANT TO GO ON A ROAD TRIP. How much fun would that be? Just me and my friends, in a jeep, backpacking around Australia, sleeping under the stars or in tents or in caravan parks, living simply, minimum money and technology, maximum adventure. Donno if that would ever happen, but gosh, it would be awesome, would it not?

Okay, lemme just get down to it and be realistic. Um, these are not grand goals or anything, but here is the List of 5 Plausible Things I'm Going to Try and Do When School is Over:

1. Start a book club. With my friends. Wouldn't that be fun? But everyone's all like we'reinVCEnotimetodoit now. But afterwards: no excuses.

2. Get a proper, steady job as a tutor. Not the sort of casual thing I'm doing now. Make money to make some of the dreamy stuff come true, or at least, ease the burden of the Financial Crisis.

3. Work on my stories. The novel ones. Not because I want it published or anything, just because I want to.

4. Oh, volunteer/join the St John's Ambulance thing? I forgot what it's called, exactly, but I want to get trained in all that emergency first aid stuff.

5. Attend more Islamic classes. I attend one, now, but I think I need more.  

Hey, bonus one: 6. Learn how to make fancy pretty cakes, like my sister. I love cake ♥

Okay. That's it. Questions answered. For the record, Anon, you didn't word anything badly, nor are you really creepy, I'm just paranoid. It feels weird to have someone who's been there from the start that I haven't known about o.O 

Anyhow, also, you guys, if you have any other suggestions as to what I should write about, feel free to say so. I can't say for sure I'll answer immediately in the future, but I'll keep it in mind ^_^ Cheers. 

Peace in,
Laila